Love isn’t always roses and chocolates. Not always do we get the chance to meet the right person at the right time, and have a wonderful and fulfilling relationships with. Real life’s not always like that. You’ll have many bumps and road blocks on the way. You just have to keep your head up and hope for the best. Most of us have surely faced the most depressing facts about love, and have come face to face with its ugly side.
Although we are all aware that nothing in life is that easy, we are not always sure what we should expect out of a break-up and often have trouble moving on.
You might have noticed how sometimes we fall in love, or go crazy over a person that barely notices us, let alone shares the same feelings with us. It can become ugly, and most of the times it just leaves us with emotional bruises and self-confidence issue. But why does this even occur? Why do we sometimes feel a strong attraction to a person who shows no interest in us whatsoever?
Since most us are often puzzled by this phenomenon, we’ll have a look at why psychologists think this happens. That way we can finally get an answer to why you can’t get over that partner who left you, or that girl or guy who hasn’t given you the time of day, but you still care about impressing and wowing into liking you.
Frustration is a feeling we get when something stands in our way of realizing our goals. Now, frustration attraction, on the other hand, mostly occurs when we like someone a lot, but our feelings aren’t reciprocated. This often happens when we get dumped by someone we truly loved. This makes us feel like we have to do something to get that person back. Only thing is, that person doesn’t want anything to do with us, and that somehow makes us even more attracted to them, and frustrated at the same time.
Romantic love lasts only a year
Italian scientists from the University of Pavia found a connection between a chemical in our brain, and the diminishing of that euphoric, head-over-heels love. The culprit here is actually the Nerve Growth Factor (NFG). This hormone increases in the beginning of a romantic relationship, but decreases as a year goes by. This happens mostly because we start to feel a bit more comfortable and safe in our relationship.
This is mainly because of the fact that after some months go by, you start feeling safer, and your need to constantly woo your partner and impress him or her decreases.
This, however doesn’t mean that love ends after a year! It simply means that you slowly enter a new phase in your relationship, which is most commonly known as attachment love. Although many have said that the falling in love part is the best, there is something even more special in the part that follows.
The shocking divorce statistics in the U.S.
What’s truly shocking is that both in the States, and in many other developed countries, divorce rates are extremely high. Every 13 seconds, someone in the U.S. files for divorce. This means there are around 277 divorces per hour, or 6,646 per day. To make it a bit ironic – there are 554 divorces that occur during a 2-hour romantic comedy.
Around half of all marriages eventually end in divorce. The numbers go higher as we separately view the divorce rates for second and third marriages. It seems that 60% of second marriages, and a whopping 73% of third marriages actually end in divorce.
When it comes to gay couples, the percentages are a bit lower. Only 1% of same-sex married couples get divorced. The numbers are a bit higher in lesbian couples, than in gay male couples.
You can actually die from heartbreak
Although your mother probably told you that a broken heart is nothing to worry over, the truth is that it can be quite dangerous for some. There is such a thing as a broken heart syndrome. It may occur after significant trauma or stress, and can lead to cardiac consequences.
Women are more prone to experience stress-induced cardiomyopathy (broken heart syndrome). This is the reaction of the body’s stress hormones, as a response to a very stressful and traumatic event.
The broken heart syndrome often goes misdiagnosed, or diagnosed as a heart attack, as it has it has similar symptoms. What patients often experience when suffering from the syndrome are intense and sudden chest pains.
What’s troubling about this syndrome is that its causes are still being researched by scientists. There are many things that are still left unknown. One other thing you need to know is to never underestimate it. It can have severe and dangerous health consequences. It can often lead to short-term muscle failure. The encouraging part is that it’s treatable. Most of the people that have experienced it, have also had a full recovery, without any further consequences.
Social media is ruining today’s relationships
A lot things have changed since our parents used to go out on dates. They couldn’t depend on their phones when they felt uncomfortable or needed to google a topic they weren’t familiar with. They just needed to settle the time and date, show up, and simply be themselves.
If there’s something that many people forgot how to do today – is be themselves. We are all quite used to responding on Facebook messages or sliding into our DM’s that we sometimes forget to look people in the eye. We cannot even finish one conversation without glancing at our phone.
One other thing that makes it a bit harder to maintain a healthy relationship is the fact that noting is no longer private. We share almost everything with everyone, so that nothing is secret and kept only to ourselves anymore.
One other thing that’s a bit troubling is the fact that we keep seeing more and more couples who go on dates just to sit and stare at their phones, ignoring each other.
The bright side of social media
Although there are many negative things that we could continue listing, we would still like to finish on a positive note, and say that if it wasn’t for the Internet, and online dating people wouldn’t have had the same options they do now. It would have been harder for them to meet someone outside their job, or their social circle, and not to mention someone from a different city or even country.
The Internet has helped many find their significant other, and develop a relationship with someone they might not have met otherwise, which many people are thankful for.